What's Happening Here?

Getting super real with this post - so prepare yourself. For years I struggled with eating disorders (anorexia earlier, turning to bulimia later), and I am not at all ashamed to admit that. For anyone who knows me personally knows I have no problem talking about it - I’m actually fairly open to it - and even sometimes cracking a joke on my behalf. With that being said, it took me years to jump these hurdles and sort my own shit out. I still struggle daily, that's no lie. I tried therapy with no avail. It wasn't until Mark actually found out about it -sadly witnessed it- that I decided to finally figure my own life out.

Im a very blunt person, and I'll say it. Some of the shit I see posted on Instagram disgusts me. Some of these “healthy” posts are extremely dangerous and are leading to a new disorder of eating - orthorexia. Look it up, it’s a thing I swear. It's slowly killing these young girls that look up to these influencers and think everything they're saying just has to be true. Trust, I've done it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love salad, like genuinely. Ask my family, I was the weird kid that loved veggies and would take a salad over anything else. But that’s besides the point. As you get older, your body needs more. You need more protein, calcium, iron for fucks sake. Severely restricting your eating to only “healthy” foods is detrimentally to your body.

Trust me, there’s a laundry list of things I wish I could take back from all damage I unknowingly did to my body. I wake up and crack- literally my body cracks EVERYWHERE. I have arthritis and the age of 30. My joints ache daily. My teeth are absolute shit and I get embarrassed going to the dentist and having the see splatter marks on my teeth where the enamel has worn down. I had to actually figure out how to eat again because my stomach hates everything. My tonsils are constantly enlarged. I didn't have a "normal" period up until recently.

Long story short, its been no cake walk.

I swore that if I ever saw the other side of my disorder, I would do something about it. I would bring awareness to this disorder that every single woman and girl I know has struggled with at least once in their lives. I'm not preaching to "treat yo self" or eat poorly. Just remember that the people that are preaching these "clean diets" are not doctors. Your body knows what it needs. If you're craving meat, eat it. If you want those chips, have them. Be mindful to every thing you put in your body, but know that you don't need to look a certain way or eat a certain way.